“Hiding Behind Our Egos”
When I was a kid my mom used to take me shopping with her. And sometimes she would buy me things, and that would be alright, but most of the time she would take me to Department Stores (remember those) and she would look at blouses, and pantsuits, and heels and it was really boring.
When we would go to those stores my mother would always say the same thing to me, she would say, “Nathaniel, (that’s how I knew she was serious) Stay where I can see you.” This was always her advice, always her command, “Stay where I can see you.”
But here’s the thing, when you’re a kid, the last place you want to find yourself is in the Women’s Fashion section in Sears. As a kid, you’d rather go to the bank (because at least they have lollipops) or to the grocery store (because you’ll probably get some candy out of the deal). But if you’re dragged off to a department store you know that there’s nothing in it for you.
And so here’s what I would do. I would climb into the clothing racks. As a young kid, they were the perfect height, I wouldn’t even have to duck down, I could just part the blouses to the side and walk right into the middle of the rack and then I’d close the blouses behind me and I’d be left with this perfect little clothing rack fort. It was perfect- no one could see me, it was my own secret hideout that was there to save me from the boredom of waiting for my mom to finish her shopping.
I would do this every time we went to the Department Store. But you know what would happen next, eventually, my mom would finish her shopping, and then I’d hear: “Nate! Nate! Where are you?” And so I’d come climbing out of my Clothing Rack Fort and she’d say, “I thought I told you to stay where I can see you.”
Nearly every time we went to the Department Stores this is what would happen. My mother would tell me “Stay where I can see you” and I would do something completely counter to those instructions. My mother would tell me “stay where I can see you” but instead I’d build a fort where it was impossible for me to be seen.
As I think back on this behavior now I can’t help but laugh at this universal human truth that my actions were displaying. You see, I wasn’t listening to my mother’s commands, I was just doing what I thought was best; what I wanted to do. My actions were all about me, me, me. I’m sure that we all have stories like this, and not just stories from our youth, moments in our lives where we were told to do something but we ignored those instructions and just did whatever we felt like doing instead.
But here’s also what I find interesting about my trips to Sears as a child. My mother would tell me to stay where i can see you and then I’d just do what I felt like doing. But what’s really interesting is that what I felt like doing… was hiding. I don’t want to listen to you mom, I want to… hide.
9 times out of 10, whenever someone demands their own way; whenever someone insists that it has to be exactly the way they want it, what they are really doing in that moment is hiding. There is some sort of insecurity pushed down deep within them that’s causing them to pout and whine and insist on their way of doing things.
Whenever people in power use their position to insist on their own ways rather than working together to craft a better future for everyone, its so often because those powerful people are afraid and their actions are a form of hiding.
There is one point in the Gospels where Jesus is sitting with the 12 disciples and says
“Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” Then he took a little child and put it among them; and taking it in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me, and whoever welcomes me welcomes not me but the one who sent me.” – Mark 9:35-37
This was an incredibly scandalous action in those days. Children were not valued in society and so for Jesus to bring a child into the midst of the disciples and to then tell the disciples that they need to welcome children, and in so doing they welcome him—this was a radical message. But it’s still an important and radical message for us today. Jesus telling the disciples and you and me to stop hiding behind our egos and instead keep an eye out for those in this world who are least.
Stop focusing on yourself. Stop worrying about your own success story. If you are going to be my disciple, Jesus says, you need to be looking out for those whom everyone else forgets.
